One of the most powerful moments in my life happened about 3-4 months after being widowed. I’d been grieving heavily (i.e not getting out of bed or leaving the house) and I didn’t see how my life could possible get any better…..

It was early morning, I’d just woke up and I was staring at the ceiling. Once again, the tears were rolling, I was missing my late husband horribly and wondering how at the age of 35, I would ever recuperate from losing someone that I had spent 16 years of my life with. My “before” widowhood like looked so good and what was left after seemed so gloomy. Could it be that the ‘best’ of my life had already happened? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks….

In all of my years working behind the chair as a hairstylist, I would have to say relationships were the #1 topic of discussion.  And working as a Relationship Coach, the questions aren’t very different.   Why won’t he just SAY he doesn’t want to be in a relationship?  WHY are relationships so hard?  Why do I seem to end up with the no-good guys?  Why can’t he be honest?

The biggest problem with this kind of thinking is that it is all based on men.  And we leave the MOST important part, OUR part, out.  So, you may be wondering, what do I have to do with men and how they do things?  It’s not my fault that some men lie, play games or cheat?  And I’d say that you are absolutely right, we don’t have control over what someone else does BUT we do have control over who we allow into our lives.  And one way that we can very easily open our lives up to painful relationships is to not look at our part.